I’m keeping the promise I made to Blogging on Bilingualism (or rather the blogger behind it) and I want to come back on the topic of non native parents raising bilingual children, or rather parents raising children bilingual in a language that is not their mother tongue.

All non native parents are not equal. Whether the minority language is the mothertongue of some family members, at least one, does make a big difference, in many ways.

Just to clarify, some parents, like myself, speak to their children in a language they master well but where not raised in, and no native speakers live with the family. Other parents, like Eve from Blogging on Bilingualism, speak to their children their partner’s mothertongue in order to raise them bilingual, often using the MLAH method.

Yes we are both using with our children a language that is not our native one, but there are strong differences among us.

1) Social acceptance. All parents of bilingual children happening to speak a minority language in public are occasionally, or often, frowned upon by opinionated and often monolingual neighbors, friends, colleagues, name it. If they will explain that that language is the language of part of the family they might get some understanding, or at least tolerance, but if this is not the case they are much more likely to encounter open criticism. In fact I often use this factor to buy some comprehension, my child’s

2) Inner motivation. Motivation is key in most situations, not last when raising a bilingual child, particularly when the child starts to answer you back in the majority language. If the minority language is the language of part of the child’s family you know very well why you’re doing this, you are doing something really important for the development of your child and the building of his identity. But if this is just a foreign language why should you go through all this pain? You learnt foreign languages the usual way and you are doing ok, sure enough your child will manage too, may be later in life, won’t he?

3) Language input. Languages are alive. They need to be nurtured, stimulated, cared for. Some people who live abroad with time have problems in speaking even their mothertongue, imagine what happens with foreign languages then… Sure there are many ways to keep a language fresh, things like books, TV, internet, family, friends, holidays even work can help tremendously. Still, a native speaker partner comes really handy…

However, I want to end this post with a positive note. So let me tell how I address these 3 issues.

1) Social acceptance. I don’t care, really. If people are genuinely interested and nice I might as well explain to them how English plays a key role in my life, has been my dominant language for about 10 years and is strongly associated to a whole part of me and of my life I just couldn’t express and transmit to my child in Italian. I might also add that English is my child’s father language. However, if the person is judgmental and opinionated I shrug and move on, people are entitled to their opinions and I can live without their approval.

2) Inner motivation. My motivation is extremely strong, else I just couldn’t carry on with this. I know very well I don’t want my child to grow into the typical spoiled italian boy, who knows and cares nothing about the rest of the world. In full honesty I shall also add that it helps, in terms of motivation, the fact that English is the language my child needs to communicate with his father, even if he’s not part of our daily lives.

3) Language input. I believe,  and this is my personal and unproved opinion, that there are 2 kinds of people. Those who learn languages fast and forget them just as easily and those that learn slowly (sometimes painfully) but then retain everything they have learned with no effort. I belong to the second group. That said, I also read plenty of stuff in English every day (blogs, news, books, newspapers) and have many opportunities to speak it with people.

Thoughts anybody?

Image by A Journey Round my Skull

Related posts:

1. 8 reasons why you don’t have to be a native speaker to teach your child a language
2. Bilingual children in non bilingual families
3. Summer vacation options for Italian-English bilingual children

Antonella Sorace is professor of Developmental Linguistics at the University of Edimburgh, and together with her team created Bilingualism Matters, whose objective is to bridge the gap between research and the community.

Federica asks:

Hi,

Thank you so much for this blog, it’s been really useful and is helping me finding my way in the complicated world of bilingualism… Myself and my husband are Italian, we have a daughter, who will be 4 in September and we both speak English.

Last year my husband moved to the US because of his job, and with my child we moved between countries spending about 4 months in the US. Initially she refused the idea that we would speak a different language with other people, but eventually came to terms with it, although she never tried to speak English herself. Things will change soon, we’ll join my husband in the US for good, so we’ll all be together. Once there I’ll start working too, so my child will go to childcare, which of course will be in English only. I’m worried this might be a shock for her and don’t know how to make things easier for her.

Also, I wonder how we should behave when other people are around, shall we keep speak Italian to her or switch to English?

Thanks and best wishes.

Professor Sorace answers:

All too often in similar circumstances parents project on the children their own fears and doubts, while they actually don’t have any. In this specific case the best thing parents can do is to keep speaking Italian at home. The child will hear and learn English at school, so it will be important to provide lot’s of input in Italian too for her to grow bilingual. She will certainly learn English in no time, there’s no need to “prepare” her in advance, quite the contrary it could well be the case that she’ll end up talking English at home too (in this case it will be even more important that parents speak italian to her).

In my personal and professional experience I’ve seen that children don’t have any linguistc trauma when they move to another country, although they have face some difficulties in adapting to the new environment. If parents are relaxed and don’t transfer anxiety to her, if they provide a bilingual environment (like Italian at home and English outside) the child won’t have any problem.

 A mom adds:

I’m really happy we got Prof. Sorace’s view, I think in Federica’s shoes I would have worried a bit too, while her words are really reassuring.

I have seen something similar happen in my child’s day nursery, a german little girl arrived without speaking a word of italian. The first couple of weeks were hard for her, she cried a bit, but it was soon over and she’s the happiest child now. So I would say you might see few tears, but don’t worry about it; as Prof. says, if you are at ease, she’ll be too.

As for your question about what to speak in public, different families take different approaches, some stick to the minoritày language also outside, unless other people are present, some switch language the  moment the walk through the door. This really is for you to decide, my advice, if you have time and wish to, is to read a book, like Raising a Bilingual Child by Zurer, it’s easy to read and has many practical examples. It might help you making up your mind.

 Please let us know how it goes!

Did you like this post? You can receive free email updates from Bilingual For Fun, you’ll find it very helpful!

Related posts:

1. Linda and her international, and multilingual, family
2. Lisa's recipe for trilingualism
3. Summer vacation options for Italian-English bilingual children

 An italian mom who is raising her child bilingual in English, although none in the family is an English native speaker, asked some tips about how to find Enlish speaking opportunities for the summer vacation. Of course a trip is always a good idea, although the trip is expensive and is always done with family, which speaks italian… Here’s a nice alternative idea, which suits nicely both children that live in Italy and children who live abroad and have some italian origins: Arte al Sole.

Arte al Sole is a summer camp for international children focussed around fine arts, promoting creativity, enjoying nature and local cuisine. It’s run by Shannon: mom, american (she lives most of the year in the States), fine arts expert, passionate about Italy and italian arts.

I asked Shannon whether she thinks Arte al Sole camps would suit bilingual children, that’s what she says:

“Our summer camp welcomes a few bilingual children every year, and many from Italian American families who are not necessarily bilingual but have had Italian language exposure or instruction throughout their childhood.

It’s interesting, because, as I’m sure you know, there are many English language intensive summer programs for Italian children to practice their English, but I’ve heard from Italian parents these past few years that in many cases their children don’t perceive this option as a “fun” experience, and so they inquire about Arte al Sole because it has an appealing artistic/cultural curriculum that they feel their children would enjoy, but is conducted primarily in English with staff and other children who have the ability to speak Italian if necessary. So, the “playful” or “fun” aspect seems to subtly lend itself to the variety of multilingual experiences among the kids.

It is different every year, but the children really do enjoy sharing their language abilities among each other in a relaxed, natural way, which is so endearing. This year we have a few children who attend international schools in Italy and a few who attend Italian state schools from families with Italian mother/American father or vice versa. The remainder are American families organizing their summer vacation in Europe around attending this camp, many of whom are Italian American or have a strong connection to Italy .

So, in summary, the program supports bilingualism truly through an emphasis on the “play” aspect and on the children’s natural desire for cultural exchange. I can very strongly say that when the kids are allowed to proceed on their own level and at their own initiative in language exchange, they flourish more than when it is perceived by them as imposed or mandatory. Furthermore, we have some wonderful local Lucchese artists, cooks, and a book author who conducts our tour of the center, so the children are always so polite and in a sense honored to share their Italian language/or English as appropriate in a respectful way with the teachers who have either English or Italian as their native tongue.”

I think it’s a great idea, and I believe that it takes passion to live in the States and organize summer camps in Italy, and when things are done with real passion they always have something special about them.

If you have already experienced Arte al Sole’s camps please share your experience, or if you are planning to do so please let us know too, but be fast, as the first session is sold out since April already!

Related posts:

1. Things I’ve done…
2. Lisa's recipe for trilingualism
3. Linda and her international, and multilingual, family

Playgroups are effective in this sense as they complement the efforts of the family. A playgroup is not a language class, it’s an opportunity to speak and hear a language in a context other than home, it’s fun as it is a chance for kids and babies to play and it’s very effective because it requires interactions with multiple people and children. In any case, it  is essential for parents, or other people very close to the child, to attend, both because these are the people that primarily transmit the use of the language, and because young or very young children would feel much more comfortable and safe. Parents’ presence is important also to provide consistency. Ideally some of the activities we do at the playgroup could and should be carried on at home, for instance reading the same stories or singing the same songs or just by returning on the themes and words we used at the playgroup. By hearing sounds, words and phrases repetitively it will be easier for children to recognise them and learn to use them.

Playgroups are particularly important for very young children, and this is an aspect easily underestimated. The first years, and the first year specifically, is when babies are most receptive to languages, so it is essential to create ample opportunities for hearing and using the language early on.

Finally, let’s not underestimate that playgroups are important also for the parents themselves. Playgroups help parents to stay motivated and to be consistent, offer opportunities to compare and review their methodology and also to see the results of their efforts, some children who refuse to speak English at home happen to speak it without even noticing while they are playing.

At the end of the day the secret to raise bilingual children is motivation (which by the way is a key ingredient of success in most circumstances). Parents need motivation to stick to a methodology and be consistent. Children need motivation to speak the language. One of the main objectives of the playgroups is precisely this, keeping parents and children motivated.

See here for more info on the Playgroups that Bilingual For Fun organizes in Italy.

Related posts:

1. The Importance of a Social Context (think Playgroup) for Bilingual Children
2. More information about Playgroups. What, When, Where and most of all Who
3. English, French, German (etc.) Playgroups for Bilingual Children in Italy