I’m keeping the promise I made to Blogging on Bilingualism (or rather the blogger behind it) and I want to come back on the topic of non native parents raising bilingual children, or rather parents raising children bilingual in a language that is not their mother tongue.

All non native parents are not equal. Whether the minority language is the mothertongue of some family members, at least one, does make a big difference, in many ways.

Just to clarify, some parents, like myself, speak to their children in a language they master well but where not raised in, and no native speakers live with the family. Other parents, like Eve from Blogging on Bilingualism, speak to their children their partner’s mothertongue in order to raise them bilingual, often using the MLAH method.

Yes we are both using with our children a language that is not our native one, but there are strong differences among us.

1) Social acceptance. All parents of bilingual children happening to speak a minority language in public are occasionally, or often, frowned upon by opinionated and often monolingual neighbors, friends, colleagues, name it. If they will explain that that language is the language of part of the family they might get some understanding, or at least tolerance, but if this is not the case they are much more likely to encounter open criticism. In fact I often use this factor to buy some comprehension, my child’s

2) Inner motivation. Motivation is key in most situations, not last when raising a bilingual child, particularly when the child starts to answer you back in the majority language. If the minority language is the language of part of the child’s family you know very well why you’re doing this, you are doing something really important for the development of your child and the building of his identity. But if this is just a foreign language why should you go through all this pain? You learnt foreign languages the usual way and you are doing ok, sure enough your child will manage too, may be later in life, won’t he?

3) Language input. Languages are alive. They need to be nurtured, stimulated, cared for. Some people who live abroad with time have problems in speaking even their mothertongue, imagine what happens with foreign languages then… Sure there are many ways to keep a language fresh, things like books, TV, internet, family, friends, holidays even work can help tremendously. Still, a native speaker partner comes really handy…

However, I want to end this post with a positive note. So let me tell how I address these 3 issues.

1) Social acceptance. I don’t care, really. If people are genuinely interested and nice I might as well explain to them how English plays a key role in my life, has been my dominant language for about 10 years and is strongly associated to a whole part of me and of my life I just couldn’t express and transmit to my child in Italian. I might also add that English is my child’s father language. However, if the person is judgmental and opinionated I shrug and move on, people are entitled to their opinions and I can live without their approval.

2) Inner motivation. My motivation is extremely strong, else I just couldn’t carry on with this. I know very well I don’t want my child to grow into the typical spoiled italian boy, who knows and cares nothing about the rest of the world. In full honesty I shall also add that it helps, in terms of motivation, the fact that English is the language my child needs to communicate with his father, even if he’s not part of our daily lives.

3) Language input. I believe,  and this is my personal and unproved opinion, that there are 2 kinds of people. Those who learn languages fast and forget them just as easily and those that learn slowly (sometimes painfully) but then retain everything they have learned with no effort. I belong to the second group. That said, I also read plenty of stuff in English every day (blogs, news, books, newspapers) and have many opportunities to speak it with people.

Thoughts anybody?

Image by A Journey Round my Skull

Related posts:

1. 8 reasons why you don’t have to be a native speaker to teach your child a language
2. Bilingual children in non bilingual families
3. Summer vacation options for Italian-English bilingual children

Since I started talking about bilingual children in non bilingual families, mostly on my italian blog Bilingue per Gioco, I have been flooded with testimonials from non native speaker parents who are going through this experience. It was really a great surprise, this is a form of bilingualism nobody talks about, there’s absolutely no research done on this and the same people involved are normally not very vocal about it, not until now at least.

I think it would be interesting to share some observations and ideas.

What does it mean to raise bilingual children in non bilingual families?

Basically what happens is that parents,  or other relatives, who don’t define themselves as bilingual because they were raised monolingual, but who now speak a second or more languages, teach these language(s) to their children starting in early infancy. The parents’ proficiency in the second language can vary, so do the methods they use to teach their children the second language. Some parents go as far as speaking only the second language to their children (that’s my case), others make this language parts of their lives through songs, books, games or similar, with varying degrees of systematic approach.

Is this bilingualism?

Well, experts seem to think so. Any frequent early exposure to a second language is bilingualism, even half an hour of daily playing or reading in the second language. The question is whether this will lead to a balanced bilingualism, but as you all know, as parents of bilingual children, balanced bilingualism is more a dream than a fact, and anyway passive bilingualism is very important too and can lead to active bilingualism when the conditions arise (say a trip abroad).

Is it dangerous for the child to be deprived of the parent’s mothertoungue?

That’s more than fair a question. The answer is not known at the moment, because as I said no research has been done on this specific form of bilingualism, hence we can only be guided from common sense and opinions can vary. I have also asked two experts on bilingualism to give their view and they are both supportive, they are Sabine Pirchio from University la Sapienza, Rome, and Antonella Sorace from University of Edimburgh.

I think we should consider two dimensions in which this could potentially affect the child negatively: 1) if s/he doesn’t learn properly the language that should be his mothertongue, 2) if the parent-child relationship is disturbed by the fact that the parent is not comfortable with the language s/he using.

The former risk in most cases doesn’t exist, these children live in their parents’ home country and are surrounded by the native language in many ways, plus normally only one of the parents uses the second language and only in some cases s/he uses always the second language. So for all these children their mothertongue seems to develop normally, from what most parents say (again this is not the result of a research but a consideration).

The second risk, the parent-child relationship being affected, exists in principle if the parent uses only the second language, but we can’t say whether it is a real concern. This would be really an interesting topic for research! What I personally believe, and recommend, is that parents don’t take drastic decisions unless they feel 100% right for them and they feel totally comfortable, and also that they dedicate lot’s of attention to all channels of communication with their children, eye and body language included. In fact on my italian blog we talk a lot about how to communicate with children and self-motivate them, a quest for bilingualism often becomes a journey into a deeper understanding of the child and of parent-child dynamics. I think that parents who are so concerned and sensitive, as well as willing to question and understand everything they do, face a very low risk of anything going wrong.

In any case, the guiding principle should be to do only what feels right, for most families that means finding a regular but confined place in their lives for the second language, with this approach things can’t go wrong, particularly if parents are creative in the tools they use to propose the language and make it fun and enjoyable.

What about accent?

Yes, what about it? I think that the relevance of accent in language learning has been highly overestimated. Don’t get me wrong, if these children had a chance to learn the language from native speakers parents would be crazy to forgo that opportunity, the reality though is that this is seldom a chance. Even when a native speaker teacher can be fund, s/he normally can do one hour a week at most, way too little for children to learn the language, they need exposure, exposure, exposure. On the other side, if they have an understanding of the language from early on, later they’ll be less likely to say no to things like movies in original language (in Italy movies are normally dubbed), summer camps abroad, theater in the second language, holidays, anything is fact that can give them a chance to interact with native speakers and improve their accents. Language competencies are not static, they develop, so these children stand a very good chance to become really fluent in the second language just because they started early on.

The topic is a really interesting a large one, so it is impossible to cover all the aspects now, but I would like to know what the international community thinks about this, and I’ll be happy to come back on this.

Picture by A Journey Round my Skull

Related posts:

1. All non native parents are not equal
2. 8 reasons why you don’t have to be a native speaker to teach your child a language
3. Bilingualism Makes Children Smarter

More and more parents are teaching their children a second language they themselves don’t speak as native speakers. Even more parents would like to do but don’t dare. The assumption that only native speakers can teach their children a second language is deep rooted but not supported by any evidence, on the contrary, it is done (by people who forgot to ask permission for it) and many experts in the field encourage this practice. Here are 8 reasons why you should challenge this assumption, and have a go at it if you really think that’s what you want to do.

1. Language is a living organism, with time it can grow and develop. Your child won’t speak a foreig language the way you speak it, but most likely he’ll be better, often a lot better. As a parent you can lay the foundations and give the child the tools to learn a second language, later in life you’ll be able to offer more sofisticated input if you wish.
2. There’s not such a thing as a pure accent. Many native speakers speak with really think accents, some people speak a foreign language with barely any accent.  Let’s look at Englis for instance, only 2% of the UK population speaks the Queen’s English.
3. Languages are a tool to communicate. Sometimes we become so obsessed with stylistic considerations that we seem to forget what a language is about: communicating. If I understand and am understood I gainaccess to a whole new world of ideas, people, opportunities. True, the better I am undertood the more I’ll be accepted, but accent isn’t the whole thing. I know people who lived in the US for years and still have a very think italian accent, that hasn’t prevented the, from making stellar carrers in US companies and multinationals. The have both talent and the linguistic means to get that talent acknowledged.
4. You can and should provide multiple input for the second language. Teaching a child a second language is a long and demanding process but not one that you have to manage entirely by yourself, along the way you’ll be able to choose among many support tools, or people.
5. Children have an impressive ability to incorporate input from different sources, averaging away all the extremes and creating their own blend, often superior to their parents’.
6. This might be the only chance at hand. Sometimes there simply aren’t that many alternatives around. Immersion school, an au pair, a french aunty are not always available. In these cases either parents go for it or they forget about it and leave it to the standard school programme, which is seldom effective when it comes to languages.
7. Whatever your knowledge of the second language you can find the right approach for you and your family. There is not standard way, but there certainly is a way which will allow you to get the most out of your competencies without nurturing unrealistic expectations and making life hard for anybody. Identifying the right approach, right for you and your family that is, can be difficult, but once done, you are half way there akready.
8. If you really want it, you’ll make it. Motivation make anything possible, and when it comes to bilingual education motivation really is the key to success. Learning a language is such a long process, only those who stick to it will eventually make it. Plus motivation often comes with passion and fun, which are really useful ingredients too!

In conclusion, anybody can raise children bilingual, or rather anybody who really wants to raise children bilingual can do it. If that’s you, wait no further and jump to next question: How? (we”ll get there soon)

Picture by A Journey Round My Skull

Related posts:

1. All non native parents are not equal
2. Bilingual children in non bilingual families